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Monday, October 17, 2016

Sadness in My Garden

I had stopped gardening almost a year now.
I wished I had good reasons to say that I stopped gardening - regardless of the reasons - the main culprit is my mood swing of which had gave a dead-blow on my garden plants.

 Most of the exotic ones needed constant care and feeding, of which I had failed miserably - and others succumb badly as I didn't reset them (pruning and planting)

And so the ones that made it are the hardy ones - barely made it...
Dumcanes and some ariods - these survived my rainforest.
Together with my garden - the passion for blogging died with me.

I suddenly realised that I had now have the feeling that I'm more a OCD
Collecting junk rather than throwing them away.

 I now have more empty pots, pieces of stuff here and there..
Clearly not in the mood to reset or clear any of them.
My front porch is in disaster - everything overgrown with weeds and infested with grasshoppers.
And the moment I touch something - it decides to rain,

I lost all my maiden hair fern as cats started to poo on my plants
Some got knocked over and they didn't recover from shock - now dead.
I still in the feeling of lethargy and "fed-up" but I know I need to start to get my butt moving back in gardening.

Most of my flowering plants are dead.
So are the orchids and begonias.
Except for these few pockets of survivors
They managed to rough out the storm.
I lost a couple of Earthstar species - these are the standing living ones.

Hopefully - there is an antidote to snap of my laziness and get myself back into the mood of gardening.
Perhaps it must be the lack of inspiration or something terribly I must be lacking...
Hopefully I get it soon..
I'm just feeling so blue and down with my garden.


Ragna said...

It's good to see your lovely photos again. Your plants are always gorgeous to me. I've learned not to grieve over lost plants whatever the cause. Life goes on even through the ebbs and flows. Nothing stays the same and that's okay. (San Antonio Texas)

Unknown said...

Do one thing every day that scares you. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. See the link below for more info.


Bangchik and Kakdah said...

Garden and gardener are mutual... needing one another!!

James David said...

Makes me to think...

James David said...

And this is gardening how?

James David said...

I'm getting there...
Just cleared one pot today...

Vasudha Somayaji said...

For me Plants are silent listeners, but do not make them bear your lack of inspiration for gardening. Please do continue what you were doing earlier, remember they need you. Your plant photos look like they are already forgiving you.

VAsudha, Bangalore, India

James David said...

Amazing thought you mentioned here Vasudha
Thank you for your enlightenment.
I shall make an effort to continue gardening

Anonymous said...

James, I've been there also, so I recognize the "don't feel like doing that which gave me so much joy before." I still get it occasionally and sometimes I just need to take 'baby steps' to get going again. It sounds like you've already started taking those steps. Depression isn't something to take lightly. Talk to someone, even a close friend, and God is always listening.

While I was working on other things in the yard - rain garden/dry stream bed and a pollinator meadow garden, I had completely forgot about taking care of my Spanish moss. So there it hung in the tree without rain or me watering it. I lost a lot and recently wrote you on the Spanish moss page, not knowing what to do. So, today I soaked it in collected rain water and took 3 hrs sorting through one bunch of moss. I removed a lot of dead moss and kept the green, yet most of the strands holding the little plants together are dead or down to the 'wire.' I don't want to loose it, yet I have the patience to let it recover.

The decorations on your steps are wonderful! Perhaps you could add a few more items. Since those are some of the things you take pleasure in, look at it often. Sometimes for me, I need to take a break from one hobby and work on another. I usually have several projects going at one time, although nothing is in such a grand scale as your gardening! I wondered how you were able to maintain such a large variety of different plants with so many different needs and write a blog! I would be overwhelmed and probably 'burn out' quickly. Since I am fairly new to your blog (I don't have Facebook nor am I on any 'social media') I don't have the added worry about posting daily/weekly/etc.

And don't forget to take time out to play! I think some adults forget how to play any more. We need to give ourselves permission to play again. You have a young son, so you have any easy excuse. I'm at the age that I have young grandchildren, although they don't live close, the closest is an 8 hr drive. Yet I love playing with water! I'm 'dangerous' with a garden hose. Every time I hand wash a car, and I have a hose in my hand...everyone and anyone near enough to get wet - will end up running away or they'll get wet! It is so much fun seeing their faces! Just thinking about it makes me smile :)

So, give yourself permission to 'play!' Do something that really makes you laugh! People do need to laugh more, a great big belly laugh!

Take care of yourself, Cathy in North Carolina

James David said...

Thank you so much for the heart warming comments.
Truly I'm so blessed hearing from your experience.
Yes, it's true that I don't really have the time to do everything.
One thing for sure - I find the pleasure in helping others in gardening and share thoughts and discussion.

Basically, I stop when I get overwhelmed.
To be fair: my garden is actually very small, it rains few days once or almost every day..
So, if I fail watering - it rains..
Other than that - it's more on the pruning and weeding or the replanting when necessary...

Gardening is a part of me.
And so l look forward in the morning and evening... Especially when my mood is OK.

Thank you so much for your sharing.

Anonymous said...

I am SO glad to see you back to writing again, I've been wondering how you were doing.

Since I last wrote, I went out and collected some new Spanish moss (1.5 hrs away from home) along a river bank. The Spanish moss has flowers! Most of the flowers had opened, yet several were still getting ready to open and throw their seeds! No flowers were in the yellow-green stage, they were all showing the dark red 'inside.' It was exciting to have seeds, which I tucked into the strands so they'll receive the same humidity and watering. I also found several insects (no chiggers) yet finding a 'Pelegrina tillandsiae' (Spanish Moss spider) was exciting and has been added to my collection.

When my supply of rain water for the Spanish moss which I collect in plastic milk containers, runs low and rain is expected, I head out to the downspouts and start filling up the containers again. My husband has also been 'generous' with his fish tank water for added nutrients.

Since my Spanish moss is new and young, it doesn't look as long and lush as yours, yet with continued care I hope to have it looking healthy and growing! Oh, we also collected some Oak Mistletoe and a few berries to plant on an Southern Oak branch. If I reduce the plant every 2 years, it won't produce more berries and spread to other trees. Mistletoe is a parasitic plant and I don't want it to spread further then a small clump I can keep under control.

Keep playing in the dirt! Cathy in North Carolina

James David said...

That is one amazing gardening experience you have Cathy.

Spanish Moss is not native in my place and it's much easier to kill them if they are not cared for.
I see that you can get them easily in your region and that counts for something.
Spanish Moss never bloomed in my place...
And so - it's truly a wonderful to behold, seeing their blooms.

And yes, you are doing it right.
Hope to see your garden pictures on day.
And yes...
I never seen a real one in my life.
It must be a wonder!!!
And magical too - as they say...
Kissing under the mistletoes?
Have a great day gardening...
And thank you for sharing

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My Malaysian Tropical Garden mainly focused on unique and colorful plants ranging from rare to common plants all around the tropical belt across the world. Ideal for inspiration for challenging areas in the garden space - indoor gardening, balcony gardening and small green spaces especially for ariods, bromeliads, begonias, edibles, cascading & vertical garden plants, succulents & cacti, orchids, together with both shade and sun loving plants.

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