Welcome to My Little Garden

Welcome to My Little Garden
Welcome to My Little Garden

About Me

Tropical Garden, Batu Caves, Malaysia
Gardening is part of my life and I want to share that portion of my zeal and joy with you. These are my thoughts, my experiences and life work. I hope it enrich and add value to you too.

Thursday, December 14, 2017

Losing your Mojo and your Orchid - Part 1

Have you felt that there was a day when everything went wrong?
And it almost lasted for days and weeks..
And you always asked:
When will all these will end?

Just as I was watering my orchid this stalk weight down due to its own weight
and I adjusted it and...
It broke.

Wait - I had toiled to see this one bloom almost for 2 years and suddenly this happened!
Take deep breaths -
take the camera..
take all the close shots..
Get a Vase...
wait -  I don't have one - get a bottle..
trim the stalk shorter and enjoy its beauty on the fridge.

And.. life goes on..
(And I still mourn over the broken stalk - how clumsy me?!)

Still - Isn't this a beauty?
It's suppose to be a hybrid version of doritis...
Okay - compensation - there is another shoot spring out - so I be careful the next time.

Celebrate too soon?
I had a Cattleya orchid buds and it had bitten off by tree shrew.. 😭
Right before they bloom the next day!

So.. What happened?
I can still celebrate with one singular flower..
It's still a beauty.

Then I took a bag of nuts and had it for snack..
Pondering what happened...
And then...
My tooth broke! It came with my crown...
I got to one dental clinic and they say they don't do crown..
And directed to another.. and it had almost a huge crowd waiting..
When went to a private clinic and she says its over...
Extraction is better and re-attachment..
Talking about brokenness...

I just almost getting out of my depression.
It was a terrible days of dark clouds - always making my days gloom and grey..
Even in the most happiest days - I find it difficult to smile..
(now worse with my broken tooth)

😐 - See?
Can you see me smiling?
That the best I can muster..
And then it occurred..
I started gardening again..
they started blooming..
And I'm less sadder than before..
The pain is lesser..
And it is a little bit.. just a bit brighter than usual..

How did I gain back my mojo and get myself back from this deep drowning pain?
(I did meet up with my psychologist and had series of counselling but the pain fluctuated)
I must say..
This time - I really know what is depression.
It almost killed me.
And its not an orchid to die for...
Nothing mattered...
There was a day that I never got up from my bed for a whole day and totally lost all mood for anything. I didn't care to brush my teeth, bathe or even have my meals.
Just wished time would swallow me whole and I don't want to face the day..
And wished each second pass like years and I'm suddenly old, had a heart attack and died..

I blame the broken orchid, eaten bloom and a broken tooth...
Depression hit me so hard that I cannot wake up from bed and water my garden.
The pain is so much lesser now but I'm not taking any chances for another episode.
I will tell you my story

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